Hello Jason

1 Corinthians 15:51-55 - Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed

Hello World.   We are here, we are here.  

Hello to being o.k.  The endless nights of weeping and gnashing of teeth have subsided.  The hate towards my separation is no longer there.   I am ok. 

Hello to walks in the woods.   One great thing about being by myself is that if I want to go for a 3 hour walk in the woods I can.  I don't have to check in.  I can check out and just go.  The walks in the refuge have been my sanctuary.  Its as when Adam walked with God in the cool of the day.  I have walked with God in the refuge, it has healed me.  

Hello to the Holy Spirit.  I am a mystic, spiritual, spirit filled, feeling based, Power of God christian.   I also see the beauty in nature and natural changes.  I have re-connected to that side of my heart.  Beauty is found daily. 

Hello to dating.   I have met 2 awesome people.  Going on that 1st date was wrenching.  Yes I have returned to the dating world.  I remembered how much I like meeting new people and trying new things.   New possibilities are on the horizon.  I am ok single and interesting in meeting new people 

Hello to making it count with my daughter.  My time with my daughter is brief.  I try to make it count when I have her.  I fail a lot. But every time I see her I want her to know that I love her.  I created an e-mail account for her I am going to invite family to share with her. 

Hello I am alive.  I ain't dead yet. 

Hello to late night movies, beer cocktails, coffee bars, and random acts of kindness.  I value people.  I love life

Hello to love

JM

Whad do I expect from a church

What do I expect from a church? Fellowship, friends, teaching, accountability, challenges, order, evangelism, outreach, inspiration, entertainment? Those are some of the things that came to mind.

As the song says "Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love." So I'll confess my flesh wants to run away. Sometimes daily. I grew up in church, we have a history. its a part of me, and I miss it when I'm not there.

God has put me in my place recently and reminded me that its not about Jason. A few weeks ago I was ready to run away from village group and EV. But I know that Life in Christ is more than me, myself, and I. I'm not meant to be a cave dweller. I've tried that, it doesn’t work for me. I am prideful. Especially when it comes to Jesus. I want things my way, If they aren't my way I usually run away. But Christ says the last will be first. Pride is a sin i struggle with, I realize that I have to keep it in check. He's still working on me with that one. As far as what Church is all about. There has to be a focus on Christ first. In reality churches are flawed. Because humans are flawed. And if your looking for a perfect church don't go cause you'll ruin it. So, we have this flawed nature, but a perfect God. And I think in all that we as a body press on for the greater good. I see room for improvement. Yes. But I feel The lord says to me. serve me more and worry less about what you think others should do.

I am thankful that by grace God keeps me in his hand. And I'm thankful for EV and EVSSVG. My birthday is coming up, so as history repeats itself it seems time again for the yearly reflection. This last year has been tough. I've failed plenty, but have also won many battles and been blessed beyond this stress. People I never knew have become family. The wandering spirit is not as loud these days. I feel loved. Thank you for that. I love you guys. Honestly. I know God has me here for a reason. I look forward to our next meeting where I can hear about all the crazy things God is doing in your life.  

Goodbye

When I was dating a girl who lived far a way we tried to never say goodbye.  It felt for me as a young person in love that we were saying its over and I'm never going to see you again.  When a relationship changes goodbyes are hard.  I have basically been in 2 relationships.   Both ended badly.  But as time goes on the process continues.   So this is my goodbye letter to my wife.  Its time to say goodbye.

I have been living by myself for over 7 months now.

Goodbye my Beloved.

Goodbye to my friend.  Our relationship began with conversations.  Talks late at night, laughter and impromptu meetings in the park or walks around campus.  We became friends.   When something good happened I wanted to tell her.   When I had a dollar for coffee she was invited.  From gatherings to outings to trips around town.  Our friendship was strong. I no longer have her as my friend.

When I decided to become exclusive with her I knew that I loved her without a doubt.

Goodbye to exclusivity.   She was mine and I was her.  We did everything together.  We were a pair. We were happy at that time. Goodbye to having somebody to live life with.   Goodbye to scavenger hunts and trips to the melting pot

Goodbye to marriage.  A life with a companion and feeling that You would have somebody to the end is a rare thing.   Not all are granted this blessing.

Goodbye to my wife. A wife is a needful helper, a cheer leader, an encouraging force and A co-pilot. I no longer have a wife

Goodbye to the family.  Being accepted into a new family is a great thing.  You learn how to be around a whole set of new people.  You are part of the family and that makes you part of something better.  Family vacations, dinners, naps on the couch. Goodbye to the family.  I miss you.

Goodbye to pc church.  I joined the PCC, married into it, baptized, became a deacon. and became part of it. I was full in.   I was accepted into a new family and was part of something better.   I can no longer be a part of that. I miss my brothers and sisters and elders of PCC.

Goodbye to love.   I cannot tell you what makes somebody love somebody else.  Its a combination of a million little things.   I loved my wife.  I no longer love my wife.  Goodbye to love

Goodbye to daughters,  and the joy of family.  I will never be the same to my daughter.  I will not be able to raise her in union anymore. I will always be a father but I will also always be something else.   I no longer have the joy of having a family with my wife and daughter.  I love my daughter.  I am learning the new motions of being a separated dad.

Goodbye to identity.  I was her husband.  That was who I was. I am no longer that.

Goodbye to being in a relationship.  Single is a scary word.  I think before I met her I was single for at least 4 years.  I don't know how to date or attract women. Its something I want but Its not an overwhelming drive in me.

Goodbye my beloved.

JM

1st john 4: 8,16  "The person who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 16 And we have come to know and to believe the love that God has in us. God is love, and the one who resides in love resides in God, and God resides in him." 










 

The Noah Discussion

Version 1 so since a lot are chiming in. Here is my thoughts on the Noah Film. As A film I really liked it. It wrapped you in as any great action movie with heart would. As the spiritual side I liked the humanity of noah, the inspiration of something better to come, how they told the creation story, As far as the controversies We don't hear Noah speak till after the flood. I'm sure he spoke plenty during the 20-40 years it took him to build the ark. The In between story is for the imagination. I'm Not sure why they didn't include wives on the ark. I don't know why they didn't include a literal voice of God. Artistic license. Nobody knows what the Nephilim looked like. If I was to tell the story of noah to my child I could read the scripture, or tell the story from heart and add details as all great story tellers do. Its not a biblical documentary its a story about faith and love and the creator and the good and bad and in between.

Version 2 
I would say those with great faith have have great moments of no faith.  see psalm 13:1 "how long o lord will you forget me"   I think Noah was a great movie of Faith.  As far as the critics go... We don't hear from Noah in the text until after the flood. So Any movie would have to be silent for the main part to adhere to the text.  Also We have no idea what the nephilim looked like.   Maybe they were rock monsters. idk.  I think the movie was visually awesome, story telling awesome, acting awesome.  yes I liked it.  I see it as a retelling story of a bible story.  It wasn't a biblical documentary.   Did Michelangelo see the angels and the last supper? No. He presented his vision of heaven and God in his art.  The church needs to put forth great art.  Judge on the art, not the label it is given by those in powerful positions.

Praying a fleece

Have you ever prayed a Fleece?   I had a spiritual decision to make recently.  I found the  answer I was looking for.  My bible reading  during this time turned to The Story of Gideon in Judges 6. Israel was in bondage to the Midianites because they did "evil in the sight of the Lord". (Judged 6:1).  Then they cried out to the lord.  The Lord came to Gideon and told him what he was going to do. Gideon asked him for a sign. I love the humanity of this.  Its as if Gideon was saying I hear you, but I need some proof...   So then the Angel of the Lord made fire come out of a rock.  (proof).   Gideon then says OK God if your going to save my people I need some more proof.  He put out a fleece and asked God to show him.  One day the fleece was wet and the ground was dry and the next day the fleece was dry and the ground was wet.  Afterwards The Lord took 300 of the faithful and defeated the 135,000 Midianite troops.  I especially liked the part where the enemy starting fighting among themselves.

So for me praying a fleece can be confusing, I don't really understand it. Figuring out the specific will of God is not an easy thing.  God was silent between the OT and NT for 400 years.  God knows how to be quiet. yet we want our answer now.  Trusting God will answer his word of "ask and you shall receive" (Mat 7:7) for me is about being risky in The Holy Spirit.  Sometimes that answer will be totally unexpected. Sometime you will not get an answer, then 5 years later you realized you had your answer.  On Sunday when Ernie talked about us not being risky in the Holy spirit, I agreed.   The hardest part about walking on water is getting out of the boat.     God our Father wants to help us, sometimes we just have to ask.

response from PC>

• that is a tough situation. Do you think that it is possible that God has called you to be there for a season. You are mature enough in your faith to eat the meat and spit out the bones. While it is best to align with those who believe most like us, the fact is your positions agree on much more than they disagree. I would encourage you to consider staying there for 3 more months, and if it continues to become a stumbling block then consider a change, but if you are growing, then it is possible that God would want to lead you to stay there for a season.

  It could be like a child getting older, you have to tell a child what they can and cannot eat when they are young, but then there is a time when they can make choices as to what they put in their mouth.

  I am not saying God wants you to stay, I am just saying, that He may not want you to leave just because you don't agree on the definition of Sovereignty.

Thoughts today 

After talking to a mentor he encouraged me to stay for a season. And reminded me that I could eat the meat and spit out the bones. Then today the spirit impressed on me in a vision. in the last 2 years I could not breathe. I was out of breath. I could not take risks and walk in the spirit. I could barely breathe in and out. This begun when I lost my job, my house, my dignity, I lost my wife, my direction also. I lost a lot, and I could not, do. So the holy spirit was carrying me in my valley. I didn't die. I didn't run into a cave and not return, unknowingly I let him carry me. The vision today was that it is time to walk. My heart has been healed and I can breathe deep today. I don't feel like I am choking to death anymore. I have lots of room for improvement But the Lord and I are walking more daily. The road out of the valley is beginning. And it feels Good as heck to be able to get some Breath in this dry body. Dennis on day we will meet again when the time is right. Keep up the good fight. Thank you for your encouragement. Press on my brother.

Letter to P(astor)C. 

"We haven't spoken in a while. I know this.  But I think a lot about how the lord used your teaching and friendship during the time I was in Brunswick. I miss you guys.   I keep telling myself I'm going to visit when I'm in Brunswick  but haven't.   So here a delima that I am having.  I started going to a church called EV last November. 

I have begun to love this church emotionally, personally, and more. I have friends there and they are doing great things. But... I disagree with their doctrine.  Their leadership and theology is Reformed. In the day to day preaching and life it hasn't been an issue.  I feel like its a principle for me and I can't get around it.  I'm Unsure what to do.   I knew it from the start, but I went to a lecture about their beliefs and  since then is when the pain in my stomach started.  I'm feeling like I need to go somewhere else.   Emotionally this stinks b/c I have gotten to know them and doing life with them.    Suggestions?"  

If you tell me that Jesus in an ancient history Dammed people to hell. I tell you John 3:16, that God loved the world. 

II Peter 3:9: "The Lord is not slow to fulfill His promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance."


If you tell me that Man does not have free will. 

I'll tell you 
Deuteronomy 30:19 
This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live

Needless to say. The Reformers have plenty of scripture to quote in their defense.  They have spent many hours studying to prove their point.

In my gut as a child of God this Doctrine of dual predestination feels wrong.   I have biblical support to back my view.  Others think they do also.  So we peacefully disagree.  I don't doubt the salvation of my Reformed brothers. I doubt their interpretation of the Scriptures just as I do many others.   

God can do what he wants to do. He did harden Pharaohs Heart.   

"What we do see is Jesus, who was given a position "a little lower than the angels"; and because he suffered death for us, he is now "crowned with glory and honor." Yes, by God's grace, Jesus tasted death for everyone.  Hebrews 2:9"

God had his chosen people in the OT.  Israel.  (the people of God).  But then Jesus came and died for all and Gentiles (non jews) were accepted into the family.   

So I can not defend this with lots of books, or big words. At this moment. I cannot support A dual election.   Dual election is saying God called elect and dammed others to hell.   

Thanks
Jason_M. 

Lent is one of the oldest observations on the Christian calendar. Like all Christian holy days and holidays, it has changed over the years, but its purpose has always been the same: self-examination and penitence, demonstrated by self-denial, in preparation for Easter.

Lent is the 40 days before Easter excluding Sundays.  

So lent begins tomorrow and I feel led once again to have a time of sacrifice and service and increased study of the Lord.   

I believe Alcohol has clouded my judgement many days in the past. So I have decided to not consume any alcohol during lent.  

Also a time of fasting is due.  Partially and fully.  I fell led to have a fast day every week. Likely on Wednesday.  Full fast no food. I have fasted before. And I do believe as the bible says it is important. 

2 Chronicles 7:14

New International Version (NIV)

14 if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

And the tempter came and said to Him, "If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread." 4But He answered and said, "It is written, 'MAN SHALL NOT LIVE ON BREAD ALONE, BUT ON EVERY WORD THAT PROCEEDS OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GOD.'"   Matthew 4:3

I will have a Daniel type fast on Friday,  No meat (fish only) no sweets.  This will re-connect me to my catholic tradition.  The Holy days Are  Ash Wednesday, Maundy Thursday, and Good friday, and Easter Sunday.  These will be set apart days to come.  

So those are the things I am taking away.  Here are the things I am wanting to add to.

Increased Biblical Reading/ and study 

Meditation

Prayer
Volunteering in the community. 

Its a tall order. But I feel an urge from the lord, and it was confirmed last Thursday.   I know it wan't be easy. I have a problem with keeping commitments.   But I know I have done this before and I can do it again.    Consecration isn't fun.  But cutting off the old for arrival of the new is necessary.   

JM

Sacrifice

years ago 4 I think. I was on stage at the Pembroke christian church singing and playing Hallelujah What A Savior, it was a time of strength in faith. When that song was played today it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I think about the times since then with the valleys and dross I have been through and how grace has kept me even when i ran from it. If It wasn't for Jesus I wouldn't be with you now.  I was overwhelmed.  Sometimes the spirit is so heavy it hurts. That's how I left the service today I was in pain I could barely speak. I'm ok now.. Pruning in faith (which I think I am in now) hurts but is necessary, so as a continuation of this journey I feel led to have a season of sacrifice and consecration during the lent season which is approaching.   The lord has something to teach me and so I think a return to spiritual discipline is due.  please be in prayer with me as this time begins.   following through is definitely an area in need of improvement. But I do feel like this is a nudge from the lord.  "Write down this message!  (net) Habakkuk 2:2".  thanks JM

http://vimeo.com/49131041