My last post was Aug 2019. It only seems like a breath away, but a lot has changed. A lot has changed, I'll say it again, A LOT HAS CHANGED.
In December of 2019 a mutated SARS virus known as SARS-CoV-2 aka the Coronavirus or Covid-19 was first seen in Wuhan, China. A small Far away town in a far away land would change the world forever. 2 Years ago this month
I don't know what can be said about the virus. But I think its important to document some of this. I have had at least 5 friends/ Family members die from complications after contracting covid. I have had multiple friends and family infected, compromised, sick, quarantined and saw, felt and witnessed a general worriedness / funk / rage develop across the land.
I am going to try to re-cap some of the past events meanwhile looking forward to the future.
I myself never got sick, never was quarantined, Never stopped working. I am vaccinated. Covid is still here, So am I.
Here's the thing as my kid would say. I saw it coming. I felt it coming. I had no idea what was coming. In 2019 I was deep into developing certain spiritualisms. This actually stared in 2017 I'd say. That was a very transitionary year. I was in film school trying to start a new career This was the year I found out I had extreme sleep apnea. This was the year I met Dave and Russ. Most importantly I started doing breath work. Breathing exercises took my meditation time to a new place. I begun to meet new people that introduced me into new practices, such as Reiki, Access Bars, Acupuncture, etc.
I had been meditating inconsistently for the last 20+ Years. Sometimes a lot sometimes never. In the end of 2017/2018 I started treatments for extreme sleep apnea. Within a short time my treatments began working. In 2018 I was engaged and married to Rebecca and we began our new life together. FFWD 2019. After my last drop in. I started feeling more dred in quiet times. I started visualizing more destruction and disruption. I started feeling in soul something was coming. I started buying supplies. I didn't not understand fully but I felt in my core something bad was coming. This was more than anxiety or fear. This was seeing things (in my minds eye) that I know now was dread to come.
Back to the spiritualisms. This development and discover included things such as Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP is a psychological approach) . Hypnosis, Color/ chakra theory, Meditation, Studying Taoism, Darkness Therapy, and Psychedelics. I also was committed to my church, prayed regularly, and interceded a lot. As my Spiritualism got deeper my love for Rebecca became stronger.
I realized this. Rebecca allowed me to dig into these areas. She supported my investigations to the weird and wild world of New/Old age of thinking and practices . She entertained, as I call them my "fruit loops". Our dinner table became a gathering place for friends. She also was along with me on this journey. If it wasn't for her I would have not found what I did... So,, Lets go back....
By march of 2020 Covid had come to the good ole USA and lockdowns were beginning mainly in WA and NY. The south for the early days was unimpacted. The rest as they say is history. In December of 2020 my father in law Tod Woods contracted Covid and died in the hospital
On December 12th 2021 my life changed forever. My Wife Rebecca had a medical emergency and died in the hospital on 12-13-21 She was only 40. We had just celebrated our 3 year anniversary with a trip to New York city. Like I said, a lot has happened.
So now we are here 2 years 4 months later. I have done most of my writing on a discord server. I am going to try and put some of those here. I do not know what the future holds. I am not for sure that the dred I saw in 2019 was Covid and Tod and Rebecca's Death. (there could be more). The wounds are fresh. I was healed, I am healed, and I am being Healed. The last 2 years have had many transformations. I've joined a tribe (DW discord). I was a happily married man with an amazing wife and now I am a widower. Dave moved away, and were still close. Rus is on another path and were not close. I am a new creation. I really like myself. I'm ok with myself. I know I need to better myself. My spirit animal is a Frog. I am an internalizer and an Enneagram 9. I know more about my self than ever before.
Peace JM
