Breaking Up is hard. Breaking a friendship is harder.
As a child it seems friends were always coming and going. Its something I had gotten used to. As an adult the leaving of a friend isn't so easy. When I was in relationship with my previous church fellowship was the mantra. I had the t-shirt and it was the hat I wore. The leaders of the "church" did not want to call themselves a church but a fellowship. When I decided to leave that place the people who I called "friends and family for the last year" drifted away.
Did I change?
Did I do something wrong?
I had to have a gut check. I was moments away from crying...i'll come back, please be my friend. 1st the The phone calls lessened, and people who you used to be closer to started doing things without you and posting them on face book, and before I knew time went buy with not seeing certain ppl.
Honestly my feelings were hurt. I reached out harder, i called, texted, even an unexpected drop by. But the relationship had changed, and I was no longer in the loop. As far as two of my friends goes, one is moving and the other is ignoring me. So its been hard to deal with. but I"m moving on.
"Oh sorry your not in fellowship anymore you can't participate". We
are only going to ask out inner circle to the party, you didn't get
the wedding invitation, ..., we had an awesome
dinner, but didn't invite you. I was in your neighborhood but didn't
call, REJECT,REJECT,REJECT. Have you been there? Have you felt this
from "church family"? I have.
Do churches who are so "fellowship" centered exclude people not in their click? YES. What do we do about this? recognize and reform.
Leo the Levite was a follower in the crowd. The apostles knew his name, he was always there. Leo was always letting people get to Jesus before him. He was nice and unassuming. Leo the Levite always seemed to be excluded. When the "Apostles" had dinner with Jesus, he was left to tend the donkeys. I can see peter saying. Get him out, there is no room, he isn't with this party!
But then... we get a glimpse of Christ in a crowd, a woman beeding on her
knees, in mark 5. Jesus noticed the power going out of him, and told
the woman her faith had healed her. Al she wanted to do was see Jesus.
Jesus wanted this woman because of her faith
I live in Leo the levities cloak. I feel on the outliers most of the time BUT... Jesus calls Leo "1st". BTW. He is an heir and is part of Christ. "let the last be first" Jesus is for the LEO in all of us..
Being excluded by Christian brothers and sisters, hits deep. It can be the catalyst that makes one say "i'm done with church". and "screw him i'm going home". I expect the world to spit on me, I expect those who i reveal my heart to to include and be a part of life with me. that always doesn't continue.
"I must tell Jesus all of my trials; I cannot bear these burdens alone; In my distress He kindly will help me; He ever loves and cares for His own"
So is this a post about friendship? fellowship? and the duties of community? YES.
I have felt for most of my life in church as a "Leo the Levite" person. I don't expect to be included in everything. But I also don't expect to be rejected/ Some of this is part of my stinking thinking / low self asteem that i'm working on. Some of this is also that churches especially "hipurches" can be clicky. We must fight against the urge to be Clicky and as Jesus did, care for all well.
Leadership sets the tone. How do you treat the rare visitor, the out-liar who only has his toe in the water? Do you bring him deep or keep him at the shore?
When Zacchaeus was in the tree, Jesus told him to get down. He could have left him up there. It was crowded, but he didn't. Jesus invited him in. Zacchaeus was a "leo the levite" who Jesus treated well.
As far as breaking friendships when somebody leaves the fellowship, idk...well it happens, It's easy to be friends with somebody in "your group" People get hurt after church transitions. We identify greatly with our church affiliation We should just take care of our own but also be willing to let somebody in a crowd come to us.
As far as the friends go, life changes. I had a mini crisis months ago thinking "i have nobody to talk to" well i do. I have people not in the "hipcurch" that I have started to have more fellowship with. So I move on and grow stronger in the Lord. thats all I can ever do.
Tips to being not a boring person
"talk to more people"
"try new things"
Tips to not feeling rejected
"talk to more people, try to meet new people" "sing everything is awesome"
peace
JM
