Thrown in a well

I heard 2 messages in the last week that spoke on Wells.   Joseph, and Jeremiah.  Joseph a favored son of Jacob was thrown in a well by his brothers. (Gen 37)  Jeremiah was put in a well by king  Zedekiah's. (Jeremiah 38). 
..Both of thees people were doing the right thing and were basically thrown down for this reason.   I've listened to two parts of Andy Stanley's "your move" lesson.  Today he talked about the story that I want to tell.   When I am gone, what store do I want to leave behind?  This is a hard truth to face.   I'm not living the story very well thees days.   My life has too much shallow.   I know a lot, I see a lot, I do little.   I have a lot of excuses.  I had the ceiling dream again.  Its a re-occurring dream where the ceiling is falling down and we must escape before so happens.  I've also dreamed about 2 old-friends loosing children.      While I am not in a well for righteousness I do feel confined.  And I feel like I'm bumping into myself a lot while running in circles.   When I accepted the lord at 17 I was in a mess.  now I'm 32.  A lot of the mess remains.  And will probably forever.  There are things I miss about a young faith.  Expectation for the lord to move, a passionate worship, boldness.  Things I don't miss about a young faith.  Feeling like I was constantly loosing my salvation,  lack of discernment,  being led astray by whack teachers.   So what is really going on?  Not sure exactly.  I lack discipline, faith, and expectation.   I feel like the Holy Spirit is around the corner, and I'm not getting there yet.   But this is mature faith.  Its time to streach my legs because God's God, not because it feels good or there are praises and high fives. 
....The High Fives of Faith are OVER!  God has taken away my cheerleaders.  He is trying to grow this old branch into something new.  I trust the lord because I want to, and because there really isn't anything else I can do.  its who I am, and whom I'm supposed to be.  God has called me.  Its that simple.  

JMC