No time to Wait

 How long O Lord?

Will you forget me forever?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts?

Give light to my eyes or I will sleep in Death

But I will trust in your love.  My heart rejoices in your salvation.

     From Psalm 13

 

I like the word "Now" a lot more than the words "Not Yet".   My wife, and I have been waiting for something that seems out of reach.  To have a child.  As the time of waiting comes closer to a conclusion we will either had a really good answer or the answer that we do not desire.   I do feel like this time of waiting has brought H and Me to a stronger faith in the lord.   It has also helped me become more of a spiritual leader.  Waiting causes you to lean on the Lord.   His clock has it on rhythm.  I do feel like King David. Give me light or I will die / I will trust in your love. One side of the heart says I cannot take it anymore and the other side says I will praise your name O God. Some would have ran away by now. Trust me the old me sometimes wants to run into the woods and never return. God does not want me to be a cave dweller. My life is to be in the world, not hiding from the world. Some would have given up by now. H's desire has increased mine. Quitting is not an option.  H has wanted this for a very long time. Its less of a want and more like a longing. It's as if her being is in part until she has this. The closer it gets the more I want it. So we do not run away, we press on and will finish well. The glory of the lord will be revealed through this. Faith is trusting the "Not Yet" and knowing that God has a "Now" in his plan.